More than a Meal: Meet Joe Feldhaus

Roz Harkavy, Joe Feldhaus and Ed Slater at the Tender Mercies 2023 Annual Meeting.

As the year of our founding, 1985, gets further in the rearview mirror it’s hard to imagine Cincinnati’s housing system before Tender Mercies. Harder, still, is to imagine Tender Mercies before Joe Feldhaus came to serve his first meal. Little did he know, that meal would become a lifetime of service to the men and women who have called Tender Mercies home.

Joe Feldhaus was the 2022 recipient of the Sister Kathleen Kelly Lifetime Achievement Award for his multitudinous generosity. The following speech was written by Marcia Spaeth-Kennedy and Tamara Harkavy in honor of Joe, and delivered by Tamara at the 2022 Tender Mercies Annual Meeting. The lives of thousands have been shaped by Joe, and we are eternally grateful to him for shaping Tender Mercies into the organization it is today.

From Tamara Harkavy:

I am happy and honored to be able to speak for both Marcia Spaeth Kennedy […] and the Harkavy Family about a man who is a gift, a dear family friend and a long time caring and devoted provider to our Cincinnati community and particularly Tender Mercies. […]

Joe, you are a man of grace, kindness and inspiration to us all. Let me start by saying it’s no secret that these past few years have been filled with challenges, and you and Marcheta have handled each one head-on with grace and a positive outlook; you made all of us feel better.

Your devotion and generosity have helped create the foundation that is Tender Mercies today. It is in your DNA to do good.  And good you did, as witnessed by the way you and Marcheta raised this beautiful family, giving us hope for the next generations!

[Joe, you are] an inspiration to us all. […]

My brother Josh said, “Joe has made his mark on Tender Mercies over many years of service with his leadership, wisdom and dedication, legal advice, […] compassion, empathy, and most of all his tremendous ability to serve fried chicken to the residents.” Now that you are retired you can actually fry the chicken yourselves!

Tamara, reading from Marcia Spaeth Kennedy’s speech:

So How did Tender Mercies get so lucky to have a JOE FELDHAUS you ask? 

Marcia left us a letter that tells us the History of Joe Feldhaus and Tender Mercies.

In the beginning years of Tender Mercies, it didn’t take long to realize we needed to purchase our buildings, or at least have a long-term lease with the landlord. It was imperative that our residents know they would not be uprooted. Tender Mercies was their home for as long as they needed. To ensure that, we needed a lawyer to negotiate on our behalf. The skills required: smart, sympathetic and free!

On a Monday morning in September 1985, [Father] Chris Hall came bouncing into Race Street with good news. The day before, he said Mass at Immaculata Church in Mt. Adams, (my church!) as a guest priest because the pastor was on vacation.

After the service, a young man approached Chris to tell him how much he enjoyed his sermon and other “Chris touches” about the mass. Chris was flattered and struck up a conversation with the young man. Naturally, Tender Mercies came up.

When he came to work the next day, Chris couldn’t stop talking about the young lawyer he met, who said he would help us with long-term leases and purchase options.

When I asked his name and he said Joe Feldhaus, I screamed!

You see, Joe and I go all the way back to college. I have tons of blackmail material, but that’s another story! Let’s pick it up after Joe’s chance meeting with Chris at my church. After that, it wasn’t too long before Joe joined the Tender Mercies board.

That eventually led to some time as board-chair and serving dinner every Monday with friends and family at Harkavy Hall. He has done that for more than 36 years!

Not only did Tender Mercies get Joe, we got Marcheta too. Then Elena and Claudia were born and we got them! Joe’s entire family has given their hearts to Tender Mercies.

In return, our residents have had a lasting impact on shaping them into the caring and giving people they are today.

Joe and Marcheta are both attorneys and, through their professional work and personal passion, have made a profound impact on our community. And their daughters both chose caring professions that are focused on healing and alleviating the suffering of others.

Joe and his family live the Tender Mercies mission. They treat every resident with dignity and respect. They are part of the Tender Mercies family and have worked tirelessly over the past 37 years to keep our residents safe, secure and in supportive, permanent housing.

There is absolutely no person more deserving of the Sr. Kathleen Kelly Award than Joe. […] Thanks for always being there Joe, for our residents, and me.

[…] Joe there really aren’t any words, phrases, quotes, or gospel hymns, we could think of to truly express how lucky Tender Mercies and the Cincinnati community is because of you.

So from all of us, no matter where we are, we want to end this with simple words – thank you very much.

Parts of this speech have been edited for length, content, and clarification.

More Than A Key: Tomie's Story

Before becoming homeless, Tomie was fully employed. But his struggle with mental health kept him from thriving in his work environments. “I lost my job and became homeless shortly after. I was couch surfing at a friend’s house, living outside and in shelters before coming to Tender Mercies,” Tomie said. At 30 years old and battling mental health issues, Tomie came to find a permanent home at Tender Mercies in November 2021.

Now, his journey to find stability is beginning to change. Tomie has been able to take control of his health through the wrap-around services provided by Tender Mercies. This year, in order reclaim his independence Tomie is focusing on his mental health, saying “Right now I am making sure I am stable and focused.” Tomie has quit his 12-year smoking habit, interacts regularly with residents and staff, and is working to secure Social Security benefits.

“Mostly what I want is to be emotionally and financially stable,” he says. “I am looking forward to getting better and beginning to prepare for a job by volunteering.”

Around the buildings, Tomie is known as a kind, sweet, and gentle soul who is always willing to help. By living in a positive, stable environment while doing the real work of betting himself, Tomie is living proof of the transformative nature of Permanent Supportive Housing.

When you support Tender Mercies, you support people like Tomie’s journey to reclaim their sense of security, dignity and community.

Tender Mercies wishes Tomie the best of luck on his journey and is proud to support residents like him along their path to independence.

When asked what’s next for Tomie, with a smile he said “That’s why I’m at Tender Mercies, I’m trying to figure that out! Hopefully it’ll be prosperous!” With the support of our donors, we know it will be.

More Than A Home: Edith's Story

“Tender Mercies saved my life,” Edith says. “I’ll say it again and again.”

Edith has had a life that was not so atypical from yours and mine. She grew up in Greater Cincinnati, went to school here, and had a career in food service for over thirty years. What was atypical about Edith’s life, however, was that she struggled with untreated mental illness and didn’t have any resources to manage it.

Because of this, Edith experienced homelessness several times. She coped with her illness through various forms of addiction, and it kept her from the things she once loved. The last time she became homeless, she went to the Drop Inn Center and metaphorically threw her hands in the air, surrendering to the universe her struggles and pain. She had had enough. And she was tired of being so damned tired all the time. She needed help – big time – and was finally willing to do whatever it took to save herself. That’s where Tender Mercies and our wrap-around services took the reins. A month after her initial interview Edith received a key to her apartment at the Dana building and began rebuilding her life.

“Tender Mercies saved my life,” Edith says. “I’ll say it again and again.”

While at Tender Mercies, Edith received the kind of individualized care and attention that makes us the premiere provider of permanent supportive housing in the region. Tender Mercies helped Edith find support for her addiction and assisted with filing for social security benefits, all while treating her with the compassionate care she deserved. “There was no judgment. They treat me with respect and dignity.”

Today, Edith is three years sober and lives independently in a small apartment in Reading. “In the past two and a half years, I’ve gotten to know myself,” she says. “Now I’m able to recognize my episodes, my moods. I’m able to recognize how I talk to myself.” She receives food, rental assistance, and other support from a variety of organizations, including regular check-ins from Tender Mercies just to make sure she’s still doing well.

In 2022, Edith made a $100 donation to purchase a brick in our Harkavy building patio. Inscribed on the brick is one word: “Grateful.”

This content originally appeared in our 2022 Annual Report.